My 2014 Kris Wishlist - Part 1, the don’ts
- Go bold with your hair color. Seriously Kris, I’m just freaking tired of the blondes and the browns. I suggest tickle-me-pink, mandarin red, or perhaps navy blue. Yes, navy blue. Roar.
- Stop wearing those ridiculously high cut sneakers. it’s fugly. Dude, how do you even walk in those? It’s like seeing girls wearing those 20-inch heels every-fucking-where they go. That’s. Just. Not. Humanly. Possible. I don’t even care if its a limited edition Space Jordan 2.0 or whatever the world nowadays named their sneakers. Normal shoes Kris, come on, say it with me, normal shoes. Good boy.
- Anything that has Pyrex or HBA spelled on it, needs to go. Period.
- If I caught you wearing those hideous ahjumma pants again, I swear to God imma burn your entire closet even Tao will cry in fear.
- Those accessories. Yeah. Those, urm, dangly things that you like to wear. How do I say this. Urm. Less is more Kris, less is more.
- Lastly, that snapback/bandanna combo? Lose it. Throw it away. Bury it. I don’t care, do whatever it takes to make it disappear on the face of the planet. Forever.
Kris, you better fulfill one of these wishes or imma go apeshit on you.
Kris’s Random Shit in EXO Showtime - Part 5, the (Final) Legacy of Laxy Hyung Edition
- When asked what was the moment that each members would like to go back to, or if they have any regrettable moment, Kris straight out said that he’s regretful of the time when his cool image that he has built since debut was shattered to pieces in just a matter of seconds EXO Showtime first started airing.
- So to make up for it, our duizhang reenacted the wink from ep.1 by having his fellow bandmate beat boxed while he, get this, moonwalks across the room, slammed his left foot down on the table and winked coolly. I’m sorry Kris, I love you, but I still think Xiumin’s wink from ep.1 is wayyyy hotter than yours.
- For some reason, Kris always beats Baekhyun in all tournament that they did. After winning over Baekhyun in thigh wrestling, he flat out gave up when competing with Luhan. Here I am just waiting for duizhang to be the final winner for once but the guy loses after making girly flailing noises and just freaking sat there on the chair not moving an inch. Sigh.
- And dear baby threw a mini tantrum when the others didn’t do the thigh wrestling properly in order to let Kai win and be the final winner.
- Lost when trying to guess what kind of food D.O wants to eat and tried to steal the curry ramyun that the others brought back for D.O.
- Coolly tried to cover up by saying the food that they bought for D.O is not his style and suggested they go out to eat steak instead, but eventually not even rejecting when Chanyeol offered him a cheesestick.
- Tried to talk his way out of going into the water because he didn’t do it when the boys went to the beach in ep.5, but just one sad puppy-eyed look from Suho and he ran into the freaking ocean in a heartbeat. Awwww Kris, you’re just a big, soft teddy bear that easily melts into a puddle of goo at anything cute, aren’t you baby. Hehee.
- And lastly, no amount of girly screaming, flailing, dumb moments and second, third or fourth-hand embarrassment can top the moment when duizhang ran into the sea like how his other bandmates did previously and proclaimed his love for EXO at the top of his lungs. That last hug with Suho just did it for me. Hands down, definitely the coolest and the most sentimental moment Kris has ever done in Showtime.
- And the guy just had to ruin the sentimental moment by trying to act coolly when interviewed by Sehun, only to painfully bumped his right hand into the wall during the closing of the final episode.
Personally I like Kris better with his natural silly, dumb, cute personality rather than the cold city guy image he tried to sport in ep.1. I’ll miss seeing him, he just makes us loves him more and more no matter what random shit he did in the show. Hopefully there will be a Season 2 where he’ll have a better opportunity to show just what Kris Wu is all about.
Miss you baby. =)
Kris’s Random Shit in EXO Showtime - Part 4, EXO We Are One, the Telepathy Edition
- Picked SNSD’s Gee to sing along to and started to bust his moves.
- Picked scissors during Round 3 of the telepathy mission because apparently his logic is that’s what tall people tend to choose when playing rock, paper, scissors. Riiiiight.
- Yelling and asking who was it that got it wrong every time EXO failed on a mission.
- The only one who did a freaking scratching pose when asked to do EXO’s Wolf signature move. I mean, the scratching pose?? Really? Why can’t he do the wolf ear move? Or the tree for god’s sake? But the scratching pose??
- However, thank the Lord after much embarrassment and awkwardness throughout the episodes so far, our duizhang has finally found his style. That is when doing the scratching pose. Sigh.
- Confidently chose his “chicken is not my style” from ep.1 as the main buzz word in Showtime.
- Dubbed coke as “black soda drink”. I….have no words.
- Bust another set of moves when the Chinese food delivery guy came in to drop the jajangmyun order.
- Got pulled back by the show’s PD a few times for blocking the camera when EXO were in another room for an emergency meeting to discuss D.O’s wish list for his birthday.
- Poor D.O wanted to eat jajangmyun as his wish list because he couldn’t eat it earlier. Poor duizhang guessed wrongly and said DO just wanted to win the game and go home.
- Spilled drinks on the table in Kai’s room during the room-to-room relay race.
- Performed a full celebratory dance in his room when EXO finally won the telepathy game. And another dance in Suho’s room. He’s really set to prove he’s the next dancing machine in the group.
- Last but not least, wtf Kris, what in the world are you wearing honestly? What’s with the zippers near the armpits man?
It’s the final episode next week and my body’s not ready for it. I need my weekly dose of duizhang dumbness, dorkiness, adorable awkwardness and self embarrassment to keep me happy. =(
Kris’s Random Shit in EXO Showtime - Part 3, the Haunted House Edition
- I’m just gonna skip the whole bowling part because our duizhang managed not to make a fool out of himself. Not to mention he did got pretty good in bowling though.
- But of course, the moments of us rejoicing duizhang actually being decently cool during bowling all came crashed and burned when it gets to the Haunted House part.
- Forced to be the first one of EXO to go in the Haunted House, Kris, bringing along two mini flashlights with him, bravely ventured into the house of horror, alone.
- And screamed like a freaking girl every single time he was being spooked by all the ghosts.
- And tried to make himself feel better by spitting self hypnotizing mantra and apologizing to the ghosts constantly throughout the whole journey to the end of the Haunted House.
- Last but not least, put his long legs to good use and ran like freaking Olympic sprint runner when being chase by a ghost along the corridor. I swear to God, he didn’t even ran this fast during last year’s ISAC.
So basically, the whole China-line are a bunch of scaredy cats (minus Lay, why did they cut his part during Haunted House is beyond me).
On a side note, I hate Haunted House too. So, I feel you Kris baby, I feel you.
I love Kris and his many hairstyle, but I’m just waiting, very patiently, for him to come out of his comfort zone and wow us with a totally new hair color besides the usual different shades of blonde and brown.
Come on Kris, even Tao had an amazing shade of electric blue hair color at one point.